So. Here we are. At the threshold of new beginnings. We now have a High School graduate living in our house. And then … someday this summer, we will officially become Empty Nesters. Milestones. It would also be a good time to make changes other places. A time of change. Decluttering. Weight loss. Looking at a
Lipofuze review makes me yearn to find a way to turn things around. I am stuck in a rut, along with the rest of the family, and we really need to do something. But I don’t know where to start. There are so many choices; but I also have so many health issues right now, that starting any one of them probably wouldn’t be a good idea. We do need to start somewhere. I’m thinking I am going to look at Amazon and see if they have a “A Guidebook for Dummies” for diabetes. I am totally clueless to what I should be doing. Its not good, and something needs to be done.
Now.
Ethan will be moving out soon. Its hard to rap my head around that concept. And I worry about him. I worry that he will make bad choices. Because he can. I worry about the drinking. I worry about the bad habits I have instilled in him. Will he continue to gain weight. Sit around the house and do nothing when he’s not working? Will he choose to check out top rated diet pills and try to lose weight? So much life ahead of him, filled with so many choices. I have made bad choices along the way. Looking at me makes that very clear. Looking at Ethan reflects how those bad choices have effected him. I pray that he will embrace life as he goes out into the world, even if its just this small town of a world and that he makes good choices along the way. Its time for me to let go, and not try to infringe my experiences and choices along the way on him. Its time to allow him to make his own choices, even though we have all been down that path and we know what lies ahead. He has to learn on his own. Some of us never learn. But. Thats the choice we choose to make.
Tomorrow night is Senior Night at school. Ethan says they will wear their cap and gown, and walk across stage, stop at this screen, and on the screen will have the list of accomplishments they have achieved this year. Ethan has the capabilities of getting honor grades, but he didn’t apply himself, so those won’t be on his list of achievements. But, he has received 1 ratings for singing, and just yesterday, he made Honorable Mention at the Newspaper/Yearbook contest he went to for State. What was really cool for him is that he was the only one from his school to place anywhere. At district, he received a 2nd place and an Honorable Mention, and 5 others from his school received good ratings as well. Yesteday, those kids went to State, and he was the only one that placed. I’m proud of him.
When he was younger, one of the things he really really wanted to do was play piano. He played around with playing, and actually did a good job just playing by ear. But it wasn’t something we pursued … we focused more on his signing abilities. But there are times, I really wish he had taken piano lessons. Our minister’s wife gives lessons, so we wouldn’t have had to have gone far to find a teacher. But, we didn’t. Maybe as an adult, somewhere along the line, he will have the desire to learn and take lessons. He is wanting to be a music teacher, so it wouldn’t be totally out of the realm of possiblities that he would do something like that. Only time will tell.
The way my stomach has been feeling the last couple of days, I”m thinking David should pick up some Colonix at the store and see if that would make a difference. Doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, it does funny things to my stomach. A good cleaning out is probably all I need. I know he would give me a funny look if I put that on a list of things to buy, but he is usually pretty good about picking things up for me, no matter WHAT they are. Gotta love a man like that.
Part of it is because I’m tired today. It was after 12:30 before I went to bed last night. But I feel this dark cloud over me today, and I know why. I had the evening all to myself last night. Which, most times, I would embrace an evening like that. But the reason I had the evening along was because it was Ethan’s Prom night. I have been a part of everything of this big event for him up until now. We talked about the tux. We talked about the flowers. And who he was taking. We ate supper with them (Ethan and Miranda). But. Thats where my involvement ended. Maybe if I had taken some lipo6 black earlier this spring, I could have been more involved. But, the simple act of walking from our vehicle to the school, to the decorations, back out of the school to where the Grand March was. And, then helping at the After Prom activity — all was very overwhelming to me.
Now…I do have to admit … I am the parent that has been involved in most of activities and parent teacher conferences, etc throughout all his 12 years. So, the fact that David stepped up last night, and was there for him, (and for me — taking pictures), made me feel good. David needs to be a little more involved. This is one of the final events of Ethan’s school career that we could be involved in. I knew physically, I would be miserable. So, I opted not to go. Ethan didn’t care one way or the other if I was there. He had a date for Prom. Thats all he cared about. So, David being a part of it, helping, staying until all hours of the night — our family was represented in the “helping” aspect of it, but it didn’t have to be.
We are literally counting the days down to graduation. 29 days. Doesn’t seem possible. We will need to make a run to Emporia or Topeka to get reception decorations, and gifts. Still havent’ nailed down yet what we will be getting Ethan. I know sports gifts probably won’t be on the list. He never played any sports through his High School years. His interests were geared more towards music and theatre. I’m sure tickets to a Broadway play or some kind of musical would be THE perfect gift. But that probably won’t happen either. I know he’d like to have a computer. But, he will also be moving shortly, and we need to think in practical terms. Maybe money would be the right way to go. I have 28 days to figure this out!
Ethan had to work the other night, and David and I were on a mission. We needed to go to Emporia to pick up a truck for our boss. I know Ethan would have liked to have gone, but he didn’t get off work until 7:30, and we didn’t want to wait that late to go. We left around 5:00, and did what shopping we needed to do, grabbed our supper, got the truck and was home by 9:00. I had made a list of what things I wanted to get. David kinda gave me a funny look when I said I wanted to see if they had Apidexin. But as it turned out, that was one store we didn’t stop at. By the time we had gone to the office supply place, and the farm and ranch store … and then supper, he was ready to go home. So, its still on my list and maybe the next time around I will have more time to look for what is on my list. Maybe I should just take a trip on on my own, and then I can do what I need to do, and not be under the time crunch we seemed to be on that night.
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